Wednesday, September 1, 2010

nuts...

Im going nuts!! im eating DING DONG and drinking C2...aAAAAAAAAAAaaaHHHHHHHHHHHHH

thinking... thinking.. thinking... insane... insane... weird... normal... insane.

   I want to continue writing my stories... the feeling of publishing romance that never existed in my reality... or at least some of it... is really a wonderful feeling... but... I haven't found the right materials to finish it... I never intended to focused in writing... but I was really aiming to write at least a good story that ends neither in happiness nor in whining state of sadness... I wanted to write a story like that of the last 2 seconds of a sunset. I want to write a 5 minute reading that captures the moment of emotion... the vulnerability inside... and capture it in words...

  It is like one of my hobby... Aside from the recent tapping of my inner writing I recently brought a dslr camera... at first I really just want to take photos with a very cool camera... I grew tired using digital cameras and I learned that I could afford a DSLR and it was really awesomeeeeee! been nagging friends about it too.. haha I might have pissed them off now. . . oh well... can I talk about love? ...I'm not an expert... but i just wanted to spill this off my thought.. i might be wrong.. but like I said.. i'm just an impulsive writer.

   Some one told me that love is the most over rated emotion,,, that's why it magnify any emotions you have in between... lust... anger.. happiness.. bitterness... that's why i told her... love is not an emotion... its only over rated because you wanted it to be a feeling... love is a phenomena.. its a highly evolved excuse of people's insanity... Don't mistaken me as if I'm associating  insanity now as a negative character... Love doesn't prohibit you nor it allows you to feel... being broken, inspired, stepped down,, humiliated, used, confused, a never ending lust to annoy people's emotions... are just results of us wanting something more than what is norm. Isn't it a human nature to feel special? ...and isn't it normal for us to want more? ...sad thing when relationship walked too far ahead than the emotion itself, we are tied down with expectations rather than what we felt when we started wanting to feel special... isn't it ridiculous?  but we all made that decision... or at least took that decision.

  So I got this camera and started taking shots anywhere and anything... I started searching in you tubes and googling about my DSLR, and found out about taking manual shot.. aperture, shutter speed and... forgot the 3rd one.. stpd memory..

  Im thinking about my career again... hmnnn hmmmmnn stpd architecture...


  And I'm thinking to release a print shirt project i have been planning for years... hmnnnnnnnnnn.. still dont have a partner... oh well... good thing about being single is you can messed up your budget and not feel guilty about it. I'll save up for the future after two years. ^^ thats.. 2012. ^^

  then, I saw this graphic sketches and photoshoped arts? wow those wer nice... really jealous that they can do those... Can i come up with those kind of design... I''m juggling thoughts right now.. juggling... juggling...



Dead.



oh well ill start sketching atleast get some thoughts in my stupid brain.... hope the smell of a freshly carved mongol pencil will do the job.... hehe job... i need a good job... everyone does... HAHAHAHAHHA a good.. softly.. hand made... job. hahahaha...

your driving me nuts... grrr