It's not forever

words are no longer sufficient to share what I feel.. without lies, without pessimism, I felt like the muse of my heart disappeared. Tangled on the thoughts of loosing the foundation I have been stepping on... my body feels the fear of changes I can't control...

Happiness.

Seems a bit harder to swallow than what I imagined...

How could something so sweet, still so bitter?

Sometimes I feel like my fears are crashing me. The chain of agony and anger I felt before turned into cold blocks of debris slowly gluing my hand down to earth...

The pain that disappeared left a scar of venomous mark inside my heart. Clouding my eyes with callous claw of self pitied developments...

Weak as it may seems... 

My heart grows to nothing but shattered pieces of glass.

Strangely Normal

It's been a while since I posted anything in this little site I made few years back... can't even read the things I wrote...

Cause I find it to be too long...

Things became a so-so normal to me, without any sense of being shattered, everyday life seems a little bit strangely common than when I started blogging...

I finally got a chance to fill the gap between the realities I tried to make inside my head... although there are still questions in my head that I want to find answers on...


I hope I could write a poetic essay on the thing my head been pounding on, but frankly speaking... it's like a song I can't even dare sing, the lyrics doesn't fit the melody, nor will it makes sense in my life...


although here's something I learned... being hurt and not giving up,,, in the end of all of it, the world... and the reality I'm living now... seems strangely normal.